For Christmas, we received several Christmas cards addressed to Mr & Mrs My Husband's Surname. Only trouble is, they're his parents, not us, because I didn't change my name when we got married.
For me, in my career which I had been cultivating as me for more than 10 years, I felt it made no sense to change my name. Not to mention the fact that I feel very strongly that getting married is a partnership, not a melding of one individual into another.
When I mooted the idea with my husband (a long time before we even got to the idea of marriage), he was vaguely offended by it (despite his protestations). He's a modern guy, not a sexist bone in his body and yet this idea was confronting to him. I suggested he change his name to mine, which he found down right preposterous and I said to him "now you know how I feel!".
Obviously I got my way or we would have remained unmarried, I can assure you.
It felt to me natural that in the wake of the third wave of feminism I, and probably most of my peers, would keep their names if and when we tied the knot.
So imagine my surprise when I have found myself in a minority of married friends who have kept their names.
Why have they changed their names, I wonder. I try not to judge, but I can't help but feel it's a really dumb thing to do. My friends who have changed their names are smart, independent, career orientated, educated women. So why do they feel as though their identity isn't as important as their husbands'?
I know they probably don't think about it in those terms, but it is something that really puzzles me and I find quite anti feminist.
I've got a lot more to write about this subject, but I have to go and be a modern housewife now, so I will pick up this thread later.
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